Sometimes I wonder if anything’s really real, I wonder if what I really believe, is really real. Nothing feels it anymore.
I’m always seeming so lost in my own thoughts, about decisions and choices and never really noticing what’s going on around me. I know what I want, and I almost know enough about how to get it, but it’s the keeping it safe that scares me.

I want a house, a white house with blue shutters, and a room, a room with a window facing a lake so I can paint. So I can think, and read and write. I want someone to live in that house with me, I want a compainion that will hold me threw the night and kiss my forward and play with my hair as I fall asleep. Someone I can make breakfast for every morning before he has to race off to work to support our little family. I want children, four children, with his eyes and smile, blonde hair and a giggle that makes the sining of birds in the morning jealous. I want happiness, a happily ever after without worrying about regret, guilt or lies.

There’s not much I want, just the basics. A happy life. Falling asleep, wakeing up and going through the day happy. I don’t want a long life. Just a small simple one, with people who love me. Is that too much to ask ?