I sit here, thinking, deeply. I think about life, and death, love and hate, happiness and pain. Things people don’t usually sit there thinking deeply about. I like to think our lifes are planned out, somehow. I don’t know why, but, it makes me feel..better. I like to think, about the future. I plan things over in my head, and act out scenarios, and situations that could occur. It makes me happy. I feel asthough I have control over my life, over my thoughts, over my feelings. I’m getting better.

I sit here, thinking, deeply. I think about heaven and hell, young and old, joy and gried. Things people don’t usually sit there thinking deeply about. I like to think. I like to be able to choose my words, without having to watch what I say, and be careful of who I come across. My thoughts are my own, no matter what. No one can hear me, no one can know the whole truth. No one can know. Even though, it means that no one knows what I’m going through, or can be there for me, but, I guess I’m okay with that.

Sometimes I do roleplays in my head. I think ‘what if’ about almost everything. I cause myself, to question my very being, I question myself, and trust, I question things that I once thought I was certan of. I enjoy thinking. It helps. It makes me feel better. There’s always some sort of truth behind everything, and I know my own thoughts can never lie to me.

I found my worst enemy is the thought behind my thoughts. The thought of my thoughts. The thought of the cery thought I’d just thought. The thought that pops in an out, and isn’t careful with it’s harsh words. And yet it speaks the truth. It’s no liar, just a theif. A thief of my happiness. But you know what, it’s okay. I’m happy. I’m better. I’m whole again. Someone’s helped me, and, my life’s back on track.

My thoughts, are just my escape from reality, when I need reality most.